12 June 2011

I feel so unsure. I have no idea what I am doing.
Seeing as I am not much of a planner, that usually isn't an issue. But, I don't know at all. Not what I am doing, where I am going. Nothing.
Sure, I have things that I would like to do. But, I can't bring myself to even call them goals. To me they seem unattainable. Like some one in my position could never get there, which makes it so hard to even try.
I have been created for a purpose. So, what is it? I can't see it. I am not influencing any one for God right now. I am not progressing in art. My major is in a field that I do not want to enter vocationally. What am I doing with my time?
I don't feel stagnant (YHWH knows I have been there before). I feel more like I am wandering aimlessly.
Pointlessly. No rhyme or reason guiding my path. There is no path. Only places to climb up and down. To go around, over, under, thru...
I wish I could see the path. Even the beginning of the path. Then I could follow it. Know that I am going, doing.
Are we ever called to wander? Not like this. I need guidance. I need to know where my next footstep should be.

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